Word of the Week: Noodge

noodge  /vt. /  to keep urging, asking in an annoying way.  nag.  to annoy persistently, pester.  agitate.  beleaguer.  disturb.  harass.  plague.  bother.  henpeck.  bedevil.

noodge  /vt./  1.  My to-do's noodged me all week, dogging me night and day with thoughts of "Oh, I need to remember...", until I finally relented and actually wrote them down.  This proved to be a fantastic idea (making me significantly more efficient) until Friday afternoon when I misplaced my list.  An unfortunate turn of events, and yet, I muddled through with only a few moments of complete stupor.

noodge  /vt./  2.  Ethan complained all week that his ears hurt when he swallowed.  After days of noodging me to "go see Dr. James" I called the pediatrician and we showed up just before lunch on Thursday morning.  We waited to see him for about an hour and when we finally did, Ethan got a clean bill of health.  No ear infection.  No strep throat.  Somehow this didn't make me happy.  Dr. James suggested that Ethan stop swallowing (since that's the only time his ears hurt) to which Ethan replied, "When I don't swallow my tummy hurts."  Ethan, of course, giggled through the entire exam and Dr. James noted that he must be feeling "really bad" to be this cheerful, and I grudgingly played the part of the insane mother.  By the by, Ethan's ears are still noodging him when he swallows.  Grrr.

noodge  /vt./  3.  This week was the Pine Wood Derby.  My personal idea of the 7th circle of hell.  I noodged David all week to help Caleb with his car.  The weigh-in was Thursday night anytime from 7 til 9, (you had to have your car ready and weighed in by then to compete on Saturday).  My boys showed up with their car at ten minutes to 9.  Sounds about right.  Caleb won 4 out of 6 of his races, a decent showing for a boy whose dad does not own a saw of any kind.

(Here is one of his wins...his car is in the far lane...)

noodge  /vt./  4.   Friday night David and Olivia had date night.  Olivia's Achievement Days class had a daddy-daughter bowling and pizza night and, as you can imagine, she was in 7th heaven.  The event started at 5:30, but Olivia was so worried they would miss even one single moment of fun, she started her campaign early, calling David every five minutes starting at 4:30 and noodging him home. 

noodge  /vt./  5.  David's colorectal screening event went about like you'd expect.  Apparently it takes more noodging than a postcard (he sent 1200 out to the community) to get people to come in and get their colons screened.  David said, "It's a free service.  You'd think people would want a free test."  Um.  No.  People don't want their colons screened even for free.  Surprising.  Seriously though, despite a few technical problems, he was happy to say that the were able to give out 150 tests and maybe most importantly, David decided it was time to get his own examined.  I was happy to hear that my last 6 months of not-so-gentle noodging is finally going to pay off.

noodge  /vt./  6.  My list was long this week and so this spilled over a bit into David's life as well.  The yard was especially atrocious by Friday afternoon and we had about 40 people coming for dinner on Saturday afternoon, with no time or way to do anything about it.  I felt like I had noodged David all week about so many other things that I calmly accepted the state of my yard "as is" and prepared to just serve such good food that no one would care about the state of my weeds.  And then.  A friend in my ward quietly and secretly mowed my lawn and pulled my weeds while David and I were sleeping early Saturday morning.  When I discovered her, she simply shrugged and explained that no matter how much she noodged, I would never let her help me, so she just decided to do something without asking.  An angel with a lawn mower.

noodge  /vt./  7.  No matter how I try to resist it, the milestones in my darlings' lives noodge me to realize that time is passing and my babies are not actually babies anymore.  Savannah had her baptism preview tonight.  When they handed me the invitation I thought, "I don't have an eight-year-old."  And had to turn it over to see Savannah's name on it before I connected the dots.  This is a "noodging" I would prefer to avoid all-together.  Another accountable child.  It's a bit hard to swallow past the lump in my throat.

My tender feelings about Savannah reminded me of a poem I love.  Says it perfectly...

Sentimental Moment or Why Did the Baguette Cross the Road?

by Robert Hershon

Don't fill up on bread
I say absent-mindedly
The servings here are huge

My son, whose hair may be
receding a bit, says
Did you really just
say that to me?

What he doesn't know
is that when we're walking
together, when we get
to the curb
I sometimes start to reach
for his hand

*Deep Breath*

Just sitting here, taking a deep breath after a very busy Saturday.

I hosted a dinner for all my young women and their mothers tonight at our house and then we went to the YW General Broadcast together. 

Dinner was delicious...I made Barb's Sweet Pork Taco Salad and both of the trifles posted on Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner.  (I prefer the berry one.  But had plenty of both, just to be sure.)

My furniture has been put back and the dishes have been done.  A serious accomplishment.

I still have trifle bowls to return and church chairs stacked high in the garage.  But it is mostly done. 

At dinner I told my girls that this was one of my favorite nights of the year.  And it really is.  I love to feed my girls and then go be (truly) fed together.   Tonight I sat in our chapel with eighteen of my girls and their good mothers and gave thanks for the chance to be there with them.  I thought the broadcast was fantastic, particularly Sister Dalton (who asked, "Do you ever feel like you're on "Heartbreak Hill"? And feel utterly alone even though there are people lining the road?"  Oh yes, oh yes.) and Elder Eyring (who reminded us that even though Satan has marked us as a target, we are watched over and protected by God the Father and Jesus Christ...they know us, know our situation, know what forces surround us.  Oh, I am so glad to know that.)  The music was just incredible and I thought I would about bust when they sang, "I'll never, no never, no never forsake!"

This coming week will be mad with preparations for quilt retreat and house guests, and even tomorrow brings BYC, and a baptism preview and, of course, a camp meeting. 

As I sit here I feel myself quietly sitting "in between."

In between the work I just finished and the work that is coming. 

A momentary lapse in to-do lists.

(Surely this is an oversight that the universe will shortly remedy.)

Fitting in Colorectal Screening Events

This morning David and I were rehearsing all that we have going on this Saturday...the pine-wood derby (enough all by itself), the YW General Broadcast and dinner for 45 at our house, plus maybe actually mowing the lawn since we're having visitors next week...when David mentioned that he has a big colorectal cancer screening event at the hospital that he has to speak at, etc. on Saturday morning.

[He wants me to mention that if anyone wants a free screening you are welcome to come down to the hospital between 9 and 11.   Oh boy.]

I want off this merry-go-round.

Or maybe just another 24 hours in my Saturday.  But happily, all this talk about our crazy schedule reminded me of one of my favorite bits by Brian Regan.   None of you really have time to watch this, but it certainly made me feel better.

Counting (Impatiently) to Seven

Okay people, just in case you have not made your paper chain...quilt retreat is one week from today.

Joy!

And gulp.

I wish my house and yard were in better order, and I wish I had something to show at trunk show, but I doubt that any of these wishes are going to come true.  I may have to settle for having clean sheets and towels.  Even that is going to be an accomplishment.

I tried to find my block-of-the-month project to see about burning the midnight oil and finishing it up.  I have a box of "unfinished" projects and it wasn't in there, so I burned most of my midnight oil just tracking it down.  Eventually I did find my crumpled blocks, but never did find the pattern, which makes things significantly more difficult in putting them together.  Well.  At least for me.  My aunt Jill would just whip up something fabulous.

I may seriously have to look into some sort of organizational system.  Either that or rent out somebody else's brain, as mine is seriously on the fritz.

Speaking of things "on the fritz,"  after running 4 batches of laundry my washer became muddled again (I clearly overtaxed it by asking it to wash with "cold") and has decided that it needs me to walk through the cycles with him again.  Perhaps this is why I can't remember anything...I'm too busy trying to remember to go in and trick the washer into rinsing.

Overdue Easter Thoughts

The thing I love most about Easter is that, for us, it is almost entirely simply a spiritual holiday.  I love that the world and all its materialism hasn't got its meaty little hands into this part of my life.  It is really just about remembering our Savior and all that He did for us.

My parents do an egg hunt in their gorgeous backyard...they always set up and provide the egg-coloring (my mom boiled 5 dozen eggs!) and the hunt.  I don't even have to boil an egg or remember to buy vinegar.  This year Ethan surprised everyone with his competitive angst over finding eggs.  This was no surprise to us that live with him.  He just hates to lose.  At anything.

On Sunday morning I awoke early to attend the annual Easter Morningside that our stake holds for the youth.  This is held every Easter morning at the temple.  An unbelievable way to start this sacred day.  Every year as I arise in the dark and dress, my mind is drawn to Mary Magdalene.  And as I dress, I see her doing the same and in the quiet dawn making her way to the tomb.  It is a powerful moment for me.  And then we spend an hour in front of the temple, remembering that because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ we can be saved from death and hell and sealed together for eternity.

At church I taught the young women's lesson and gave each of the girls their own copy of the March Ensign which is all about our Savior.  We read parts of it together and sang hymns between readings.  

My favorite moment of the weekend came as we sang the closing hymn together at sacrament meeting, Christ the Lord is Risen Today.  Though none of us can really sing, my family nevertheless really FEELS the hymns soul-deep.  This one was no exception.  As I looked down the bench at my family, they were all singing "Al-le-lu-ia!"  at the top of their lungs.  I was completely undone watching Ethan belting out his joy along with the rest of my children.  And I thought, "Yes, sing!  Sing!  Because of Him you are mine forever."

After church we had a very nice Easter dinner with Tim & Christine, my parents, and Emily and David.

Before I close this post and my Easter season, I thought I would leave something I read last fall, but has stayed with me ever since.  I think of it often and maybe it will bless your life as well.  It was given in a talk at BYU by Thomas B. Griffith.  He said:

In the last revelation Joseph Smith received before he was permitted to organize Christ’s Church on the earth—in what was the capstone of Joseph Smith’s preparation to be an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ—the Lord gave the only first-person detailed account of the suffering He endured so that we would not need to suffer the full effects of our disobedience:

For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; . . .

Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink— [D&C 19:16, 18]

There is something curious about this narrative. Verse 18 ends with a dash. The Savior did not complete His thought. Why? I don’t know, but I am persuaded by the explanation that the Savior might have cut short His description of what He suffered because it was too painful for Him—some 1,800 years after the event—to complete the description (see Eugene England, The Quality of Mercy [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1992], 52). Now what kind of a God do we worship? An awesome God who wants us to know that His love for us is infinite and eternal. A God who wants us to know that His love for us gave Him the strength to suffer for us. Knowing this ought to be enough to move us to submit our lives to Him in obedience and gratitude.

I can hardly bear to think of it and I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me.

Word of the Week: Nonplus

nonplus /vt. /  to put at a loss as to what to think, say, or do.  bewilder.  to render utterly perplexed.  puzzle completely.  baffle.  astound.  dismay.  daze.  boggle.  flummox.  

nonplus  /vt./  1.  I almost didn't go on Spring Break.  The to-do list almost won.  Given the perfect time we enjoyed and the joyful decompression that occurred, I am completely nonplussed as to how this can be.  How can I let any "list" win over this kind of joy...and yet it seems to more than I would like.   I am nonplussed at this obvious character flaw.

nonplus  /vt./  2.  We drove to Santa Barbara on Wednesday,  arriving in LA about 1 or 2 in the afternoon...well out of the "rush hour traffic" window and yet, I was nonplussed to find myself in the midst of this:

nonplus  /vt./  3.  Last night I watched Masterpiece Theatre's version of Emma.  And was nonplussed to find that I didn't enjoy it nearly as much as I had planned to.  I think I just really and truly dislike Emma herself and am nonplussed at how and why Mr. Knightley falls in love with her.  And then this morning I found this: "Prior to starting the novel, Austen wrote, 'I am going to take a heroine whom no-one but myself will much like.'"  Job well done.

nonplus  /vt./  4.  The weather is starting to heat up already here and that means the scorpions are starting to reappear, nevertheless I was still nonplussed to see this one scurrying across my kitchen floor yesterday morning...it had been so long since we had seen one I was beginning to think we had them all eradicated.  Unfortunately, this is not the case.  (Kel, in case you were wondering, this is one for the "con" column.)

nonplus  /vt./  5.  My washer has been on the fritz lately.  It washes just fine but then gets confused when it's time to rinse.  In its confusion, it stops and wonders what to do next.  In order to get my laundry done, I figured out a way to trick it into thinking it's washing when it's really rinsing.  This means a whole little "protocol" that has to be followed in order to do a load of laundry.  Annoying, but clearly cheaper than calling the repairman.  Then this morning, I was utterly nonplussed to discover that the washer has overcome its confusion and was cheerfully running through all the cycles with no problem whatsoever.  I am all bafflement at this happy and fortuitous turn of events.

nonplus  /vt./  6.  The only bad part about our California roadtrip was the price of a gallon of gas.  (Not to mention the price of 78 gallons of gas.)  I was nonplussed at the cost to fill my tank, but luckily this was offset by the benefits of filling "my other tank."  Nevertheless, after 1100 miles, the rest of my March budget is clearly a bit nonplussed at what's left.  Budgets rarely understand psychological needs...they are somehow always ridiculously consumed by the physical needs of food and shelter and clothing.

nonplus  /vt./  7.  Olivia has been lately begging to "do some knittin" (her words).  Somehow this little activity has never made it to the top of my to-do list and so last night after Easter dinner, my mom got out the crochet hooks and patiently taught the girls how to chain.  Though this has resulted in mostly nonplussed expressions and piles of knotted yarn, the girls are loving their new "talent" and have grand plans to knit their American Girl dolls scarves and sweaters for the coming summer.

 

nonplus  /vt./  8.  I think our bunny, Pepper, was nothing but nonplussed on Saturday afternoon when the girls dressed her for the Easter egg hunt at my parents' house.  Oh the humanity.

Actually it could have been worse.  Luckily for Pepper, they were nonplussed to discover that their little doll shoes wouldn't stay on. 

Spring Break Nutshell

I always resist leaving.  The laundry.  The packing.  The cleaning.  The making arrangements.  The cleaning out the fridge. 

And then as soon as I'm out the door I wonder why we don't do more of this.

We spent Tuesday at Sea World.  Ethan declared it the best day of his life, and it was up there for me as well.  The San Diego weather was perfect and my kids were at the perfect age to really enjoy the park.  Although Olivia did think she was too young to go to the Sesame Street 4D interactive film, mortified to the point of tears...what if someone finds out?!...but when it was over she sadly said, "That's the end?"  Ethan was just barely tall enough (we told him to stand on his tiptoes) to ride the rides with us and was out of his mind with joy on the "Journey to Atlantis."  We stayed almost til closing, but had gotten our jackets wet on the rides and were really cold by the time 8:30 rolled around.  So we headed back to the hotel for a round of hot baths.

On Wednesday, Dave took a cab to the airport and I successfully managed to get the car out of the tight parking garage (I told you I could do it) and we headed for Santa Barbara.  

After successfully navigating LA traffic, we spent the next three glorious days with our good friends from graduate school.  Alexis was such a gracious host (even though our visit was hot on the heels of other company) and we had a wonderful time together.  She is, as always, just what I needed.

My favorite part of the whole trip came on Thursday afternoon, when I took my kids to the nearby beach.  There was a breeze blowing and the Pacific water is just as cold as it always was, but my kids still wanted to swim and play in the surf.  I spent one of the best afternoons of my life sitting against some big rocks with the sun warming my face, watching my children play in the ocean.  After a while Ethan got cold enough to come for a jacket and a snuggle and he fell asleep on me while the other kids built sandcastles with connecting "canal systems."  My heart nearly burst at the joy of that contented, peaceful moment.

We headed for home late Friday afternoon.  Crazy to go so late and right in the middle of Friday night traffic, but by then I was longing to see David and the kids were starting to be a bit affected by all the late night sleepover chatting (yes, the tears were starting to come fast and furious), so we said our goodbyes with promises of a reunion in Big Bear as soon as possible, and started for home. 

 Spring break was the perfect antidote for a looming breakdown, for me and the kids.  We're almost there...just two more months.  Olivia was all anxiety and stress this morning, scared she had forgotten everything and the impending AIMS tests have her in full panic-mode.  I am so glad we had last week together.

I made this little video because there were just so many pictures...too many to post (though clearly it will be of little interest to anyone but me).  David thinks my second song choice is nothing short of dumb, but I love it, so there you go.   Before everything else...before school and friends and scouts and achievement days and violin and dance and all they have going on in their little lives...I loved them first.  They were mine first (and always) and I jealously guard these moments with them.

Give Me a Minute

I set the alarm and got in bed. 

All bound and determined to get some sleep and then get up early to blog.

RIM thought this was a very wise and reasonable plan.

But after almost a week of listening to myself think, I could hardly sleep over the noise in my brain.  I am hoping this will quiet a few things in there.

This may take a minute...I keep telling myself to just take it slowly and pull out one thought at a time, but I am quite paralyzed by the mess in my head.  A spring break recap, Easter, the 12th blessing, adventures in driving, my nonplussed moments, mothering, and all the rest.  CIM is nearly drooling at the bounty.  I will do my best.

Ethan sighed, "This was the best day of my life."

I have Dave's computer for about 10 minutes while he jumps in the shower.

There's no time for more uploads, David has to catch a plane...really, where are his priorities?  Suffice it to say, we had a fabulous, a bit wet, perfect-weather, delightful day together at Sea World yesterday.   The best moment was our ride on "Journey to Atlantis."  I thought Ethan might die of joy.

We're off to Santa Barbara today...David is a bit worried about my ability to drive three hours by myself.  (To tell the truth, he's a  bit worried about my ability to get our SUV out of the tiny California parking garage.)  Have a little faith in me, babe.

Can I say how very much I love spring breaking?

Spring Breaking

Just in time, our spring break has arrived.

Not a moment too soon.

I am headed to California for a few days with the kids to enjoy the beach and a day at Sea World, and then spend a couple of days with our wonderful and old friends in Santa Barbara.  (David kindly drove us over and will spend the day with us tomorrow and then fly back for work...we've been married almost 13 years and I still don't like being separated for long, but it can't be helped.)

On the way over today, I looked in the back of the car and saw every one of the kids out cold.  Savannah slept almost the entire 6-hour drive.  We are all worn out and grateful for the rest.  Hopefully we can spend a lot of empty hours enjoying the sun and waves of Southern California and find the vim and vigor we need to "endure to the end" of the school year.  

I  am quite relieved and thoroughly delighted to be spring breaking.