Word of the Week: Deportment

deportment  /n./  a manner of personal conduct; behavior.  actions.  bearing.  mannerism.  mien.  air or appearance.  demeanor.

deportment  /n./  1.  Ethan's deportment, especially in comparison to all the other darlings in my home, can only be described as "enthusiastic" (wild).  Tonight he went to my parent's house for games and waffles and came home with a deep gash over his eye.  David, who had big plans to watch the final episode of the Amazing Race, sighed deeply as he prepared to go and pick him up.  I asked him if we was sighing about fatherhood in general or just this one boy.   For a man who loves being at the hospital, David's whole deportment showed real reluctance to go sit in the ER  with his little boy tonight.  I was off to a Girls' Camp meeting (yes, already!) and so David steri-stripped his eyelid together and called it good.

 

deportment  /n./  2.  Olivia was in tears after primary today and,  sobbing, accused us of "lying to her all this time."  What about?  She claimed we never told her that the blessing of living together forever as a family depended on our deportment.  She was quite discomfited to know that she had to be good in order to have this blessing.  Oh my.  That's a rather large hole in her spiritual education. 

deportment  /n./  3.  We have a new "wholesome recreational activity" that is an absolute riot.  We've taken up bike riding.  I gave David a tandem bike for Christmas and we have been riding all around our neighborhood.  On Saturday we went on our first really long ride...about 6 miles?...and had so much fun.  Our new hobby has even had some effect on our general deportment...David was home before 6:00 two nights this week (!) so we could take a bike ride, and I have actually enjoyed the fresh air and exercise. 

                                   This photo was taken on our family bike ride around Mackinac Island this past summer...                                                    easily one of the best days of my life.

deportment  /n./  4.   To my utter wonder, the "word of the week" is changing the deportment of bloggers everywhere...well, at least in my corner of the blogosphere.  I think there were eight word-of-the-weekers who wrote about "charily."  This personally brought me endless delight, not to mention the joy it most certainly brought these eloquent writers.  Fabulous.

Word of the Week: Charily

charily  /adv./  gingerly,  carefully.  warily.  guardedly.  cautiously.  also sparingly or frugally.   

charily  /adv./  1.  Olivia charily faced her first detention this week with fear and trepidation.  Upon arriving home she reported that she was the only one (of three) that showed up for the detention.  The other parents called and "threatened the teacher" (her words, not mine)  and got their children excused.   She was a bit disgruntled that her parents had not come to her aid, but I charily explained why I thought it was important she take responsibility for her actions...and she reported that she felt good about this too.  All's well that end's well.  And there was no poisoning or hitting, always a plus.

charily  /adv./  2.  I began reading Anna Karenina after Christmas vacation.  I admit I started the book charily, a bit daunted by its size and my recollection of the complexity of War and Peace, in combination with my limited reading schedule.  But I find myself absolutely hooked, and quite unable to concentrate on my "to do lists."  Last night I even dreamt about Kitty and Levin.  My guarded admiration has turned into a full-blown crush.   

 I am most stunned by Tolstoy's remarkable insights into life, that apply to me as easily here in the 21st century as they did to the people who first read his book.  I offer this pearl as evidence:  "...the children themselves were even now repaying her in small joys for her sufferings.  Those joys were so small that they passed unnoticed, like gold in sand, and at bad moments she could see nothing but the pain, nothing but sand;  but there were good moments too when she saw nothing but joy, nothing but gold."   (page 245 in my translation)

charily  /adv./  3.  We had a surprise visit from an old friend and her children this week.  I met Alexis at a back-to-school picnic/social when we were first starting grad school in Minnesota, over a decade ago.  It was one of those moments where the kinship was immediate...both of us far away from home, charily starting "real life," trying to support our brand-new husbands through their master's programs.  We haven't seen eachother since Olivia was a baby, but it felt like no time had passed at all.  All of our kids made fast friends, had an impromptu sleepover, and wept at goodbye.

This is a very old photo...she has five kids now, but it's one which I still have up in my house because I love it so much.  Our husbands look remarkably alike...their professors used to get them mixed up all the time.

charily  /adv./  4.   I chose "embrace" for my word of the year.  And the universe laughed.  This has been a most difficult week for "embracing" and today I was reminded of the scripture that says "there is a time to refrain from embracing," which only increased my discomfort with my word.   Already knee-deep in guilt and regret and "buts," I have decided to stop charily analyzing every situation where I might "get hurt" and try an "embrace experiment."  Do you remember that Seinfield episode where George decides to do the opposite of his natural instinct?  This is my idea with the embrace experiment.  I will give it one week.  I figure I have nothing to lose...just one week.  I will do the opposite of what my natural instinct is...stop running, stop fighting, stop protecting myself...(is it sad that these reactions are my natural instincts?) and try to completely embrace the people around me, no matter what.  I will do the opposite.  Turn the cheek.  Expose my neck.  Unwrap my heart.  Lay it bare.  Be vulnerable.  Without charily questioning the risks...just embrace, and see what happens. 

Maybe I will find that there is no poisoning or hitting as well.

Word of the Week: Lachrymose

lachrymose : /adj./  given to shedding tears easily.  weeping or inclined to weep.  overemotional.  teary.  soppy.

lachrymose  /adj./  1.  I thought I would be lachrymose about everyone leaving the house this week after a long Christmas break, but I was so concerned (freaking out) about the wedding cake I needed to make that I was immensely grateful for an empty house by Thursday morning.

lachrymose  /adj./  2.  My brother's wedding cake and all the subsequent drama took up the bulk of my thoughts and time this week.  On Thursday I spent about four hours baking, frosting and assembling the cake and then about eight hours rolling out fondant, over and over again.  By the end of the day I had only covered one layer and I was completely lachrymose, the tears making streaks through the powdered sugar covering my face.  I told my husband, "I just need to sit down and cry and then I'll feel better."  My son overheard this and questioned my husband about this line of "reasoning."  David just shook his head and said, "It's lethargic for her."  This turned my sobs into choking laughter as I said, "No, it's cathartic."   But even this fit of laughter soon turned lachrymose and the tears rolled again.

lachrymose  /adj./  3.  As I was sobbing into the fondant (talk about "soppy") I kept thinking of that part in Laura Esquivel's book Like Water for Chocolate, when Tita makes the wedding cake and sobs into the batter and then the whole wedding party dissolves into tears of longing after they eat it.  The whole place is wailing and eventually they all cry so hard, everyone becomes sick and the wedding is ruined.  Thankfully no one but the bride and groom ate my lachrymose cake, and they were all smiles.

lachrymose  /adj./  4.  Ethan was asked to be the ring bearer for the wedding.  I am always a bit stressed about having my children be a part of a wedding because they are unpredictable and, well, children.  When it was time for Ethan to make his entrance he became lachrymose and just stood there with tears streaming down his cheeks.  Eventually the groom had to come help the reluctant ring bearer.

lachrymose  /adj./  5.  The most touching part of the whole wedding, for me, came at the wedding luncheon.  My brother, Christian, is deaf and his new bride (Sara) is not.  We had an interpreter there for Christian and his deaf friends, but in an effort to make Christian feel part of their family, Sara's mom had learned all the sign language to a little speech that her dad gave.  She had practiced for hours.  It was one of the sweetest gestures I have ever seen, especially from two people who just gave their precious daughter away.  Both of them had tears in their eyes as he spoke and she earnestly signed their message.  Admittedly I was already lachrymose from the cake, but I couldn't help shedding a few more tears at their generosity. 

lachrymose  /adj./  6.  Last night, instead of scrubbing my kitchen down, I ignored the mess and watched the final installment of Masterpiece Theatre's version of Jane Eyre.  This has long been my favorite book and I found myself lachrymose and sobbing as Jane spoke her feelings aloud to Mr. Rochester.  (Even I have a hard time calling him "Edward.")

"It is a long way off, sir."

"No matter--a girl of your sense will not object to the voyage or
the distance."

"Not the voyage, but the distance:  and then the sea is a barrier--"

"From what, Jane?"

"From England and from Thornfield:  and--"

"Well?"

"From YOU, sir."

I said this almost involuntarily, and, with as little sanction of
free will, my tears gushed out.  I did not cry so as to be heard,
however; I avoided sobbing. 

Jane is a stronger person than I, as I could not help sobbing.  But eventually, even Jane becomes lachrymose.

In listening, I sobbed convulsively; for I could repress what I
endured no longer; I was obliged to yield, and I was shaken from
head to foot with acute distress.  When I did speak, it was only to
express an impetuous wish that I had never been born, or never come
to Thornfield.

I remember the night I read these lines for the first time.  14-years-old, 3-in-the-morning, sobbing uncontrollably in my bed.  I thought my heart would break.  And I stayed up the rest of the night reading, as Jane's fate was as precious and interesting to me as my own. 

All in all, it was a very lachrymose week and, as Jane says, "I was obliged to yield."  Oh, yes.

Word of the Week: Cosset

cosset : /vt./  to treat as a pet, pamper.  coddle.  overindulge.  dote on, cater to.  cuddle.  nurture.

cosset  /vt./  1.  For Christmas (and much to my delight), David cosseted my vain side and gave me a whole bunch of MAC cosmetics.  Of course I had no idea how to use them properly, so I made an appointment for a make-over at Nordstrom's on Friday morning.  David went with me, and explained that he had bought me all this make-up, but had no idea if he had chosen the right things.  Then he had to step away to take a phone call from work. 

After he left, the girl who was doing my make-up asked, "So did you get anything fun for Christmas, besides a whole lot of MAC cosmetics?" and then before I could answer she said, "That was really nice of your friend." 

I thought, "Friend?!"  And then giggled and hooted inside at her assumption.  

David asked me why I didn't just explain.  I told him it would have blown her mind.  Married 12 years, 4 kids, and still don't know how to put on make-up.  She didn't even think I could manage to keep him as a boyfriend...let alone all the rest.   The kind and merciful thing to do was to leave it alone. 

cosset  /vt./  2.   I have been relishing every minute of the last week...with all of us home, together.  And have spent most of the time cosseting my husband and children.   We have spent hours and hours playing "Ticket to Ride" (US and European versions) and "Mexican Train" and "Settlers" and a whole lot of "Canasta."  David and Caleb even got in one long game of "Axis and Allies."  Hibernation is delightful.

cosset  /vt./  3.  I took one small break from all that hibernation to cosset my young women and take them ice skating.  We had a great time playing on the ice...especially once I got my skating legs under me again.  I only had one bad fall and thankfully my knitted beanie cosseted my head and saved me from cracking it wide open.

cosset  /vt./  4.  Real life is going to be a brutal re-entry on Wednesday morning.  I have been completely cosseted this past week and a half...sleeping in, staying up late, pajamas and games all day, everyone home, including David.  Spoiled indeed.  I have been having that melancholy-Sunday-evening-feeling-of-looming-abandonment for the past couple  of days.  Mourning the moving clock and regretting the march of the calendar.  I am definitely dragging my feet and will probably be really and truly grief-stricken by tomorrow evening. 

Word of the Week: Denouement

denouement /n./  the outcome of a sequence of events, the end result.  any final revelation or outcome.  climax.  completion.  windup. 

denouement /n./  1.  I finally reached the denouement of my Christmas preparations.  This has brought joy, and relief, and also a bit of anxiety about "what I forgot."

denouement /n./  2.  My kids finished the first half of the school year this Wednesday, the denouement to five months of spelling lists, AR reading, math facts, spanish vocabulary, and papers on the Hopi Indians.  I'm not sure we'll make it through the second half.  I plan to do nothing but play with them (my own version of hibernation) for the next two weeks.   

denouement /n./  3.  We finished The Best Christmas Pageant Ever this week.  My kids were on the edge of their seats for the denouement, just sure the Herdman's would ruin the pageant.  When I was younger I played both Gladys and Imogene (in different years) in a community play.  I still remember yelling at the shepherds, "Hey!  Unto you a child is born!" and standing on that stage holding the baby Jesus, tears running down my cheeks.   The real denouement for me, though, is that full-circle feeling of reading these same lines to my own children.  Makes me dizzy to think about it.

denouement /n./  4.   We had a little cousin-Christmas party tonight at our house, the denouement of my children's pre-Christmas activities.  We ate dinner and made gingerbread sleds (houses were way too ambitious), and the kids exchanged gifts.  The best line of the night, "Thanks, Brina!  I always wanted a harmonica!" said by Ethan, who just discovered harmonicas for the first time this past Wednesday night. 

denouement /n./  5.  My brother, Timothy, and his wife, Christine, had their first baby this week.  Luke Timothy Deaton. 

His birth was the denouement of a pregnancy fraught with worry and concern.  Luke was born with spina bifida and underwent surgery early Thursday morning, just hours after entering the world.  The surgery could not have ended more miraculously.  Luke went home with his grateful parents today (!) and is right now snuggled in their arms in their very own home.  An unbelievable denouement under any circumstances, and an absolute miracle in these difficult ones. 

Word of the Week: Incandescent

incandescent /adj./  very bright.  shining brilliantly. beaming, effulgent, radiant.  a high degree of emotion, intensity, or brilliance.

incandescent /adj./  1.  My husband finally got all the Christmas lights hung and our house is again dressed for the season in all its incandescent luster.  For over a week, he had only the trunk of one orange tree strung with red lights.  The rest of the house was dark.  It looked like the burning bush, and I told David that people were going to think we worship Moses.

incandescent /adj./  2.  My heart lept with incandescent joy, when I found this card from Barb in my mail among my Christmas cards and bills.  My first "good mail."  I hung the card on my sewing room wall, next to my Will Rogers postcard.   (I secretly think the woman in the card is incandescently giddy over her "seat assignment.")

incandescent /vt. and adj./  3.  I was thrilled to finish a few Christmas projects this week...namely the Christmas cards

and a project I have been working on as part of a gift for my girls.  They are "pencil rolls," which I made and filled with markers and colored pencils.  I am absolutely incandescent about the way they turned out.  And I can't wait for the looks on their incandescent faces on Christmas morning.

  

incandescent /adj./ 4.  There are moments in motherhood that are so full and sweet that it makes all the other moments "worth it."   Incandescent is the only way to describe my heart as I went to Caleb's violin recital this week.  He kept smiling at us throughout his performance, to reassure us that he knew what he was doing and that he was enjoying himself.  I just sat there grinning at him as he played through all the variations of "Twinkle," looking up to smile at us every few measures.

He's the one with the incandescent grin in the middle of the back row. 

Word of the Week: Sedulous

sedulous /adj./ persistently or carefully maintained. diligent in application or attention.  persevering, determined.  plugging. tireless.

sedulous /adj./  1.  I wish I hadn't chosen "sedulous" for the word of the week.  It seemed to define my whole week, and made me wish I had chosen "felicity" or "ameliorate" or even "rapture."  I could use some rapture.

sedulous /adj./  2.  My Christmas cards are still in a terrifying state of undone-ness.  David was my sedulous administrative assistant yesterday, trying to help me find correct addresses and enter them into the computer.  This was a monumental job.   My version of an address book is  just a big file (my idea of organization...ha!) where I throw scaps of paper with addresses scribbled on them (with or without a NAME!).  Yesterday I found three addresses just for Kelly jammed into this "file."   Then comes the exciting game of "Name The Current Location!"  And this is only half the battle...I did work sedulously on my Christmas letter this week, but it still needs to be folded and stuffed, not to mention writing the actual cards.  

sedulous /adj./  3.  It was also another week of sedulous work in the kingdom of God, culminating with a talk I had to give yesterday in sacrament meeting.  (So happy to have that out of my head.)  My assigned topic was our 2008 YM/YW theme "Steadfast and Immovable" from Mosiah 5:15.  (See, even the talk theme was just more synonyms for "sedulous."  Crazy.) 

sedulous /adj./  4.  Yesterday was my mom's 58th birthday.  She is the very definition of "sedulous."  Everything in her life has been carefully maintained, and she is the most persevering, tireless person I know.  She raised nine children, and I cannot comprehend the kind of commitment and covenant and "plugging" resolve that required.  Most days I wonder, "How did she do this?"  She is a wonder and wonderful.  And I love her.   I see how she gave up her life for me and spent every day sedulously working for my blessing.  Happy Birthday, Mom.

sedulous /adj./  5.  I'm not sure how to talk about this last definition, other than by saying that some weeks it is easier to be sedulous than others.  Some weeks the fetal position looks entirely more inviting than the plugging tirelessness required to keep going.  Sometimes perseverance requires real, concerted, purposeful effort.  This week was like that for me.  But through it all, I felt the tender mercies of the Lord surrounding me.  He is always there for me, and I offer my humble testimony that He knows me and takes sedulous care of my heart. 

Word of the Week: Dragoon

dragoon /vt./  to force someone to do something. coerce.

dragoon /vt./ 1.  Mostly by guilt and even a few tears, my children finally dragooned me into putting up the Christmas decorations.  I don't know why I detest this job so much, but the deed is done.  My real problem is that I think Christmas decorations look absolutely garish in the light of day, and only really like them twinkling away at me at night.   Also, it really has been too hot to even think about Christmas.  Then Friday, it clouded up and rained (real winter weather for sure) and so I pulled out the boxes.  Honestly, I am a big fan of the old-fashioned English Christmases...where you go gather holly and pine boughs on Christmas eve, light some candles and (voila!)...one magical night to celebrate the birth of the King of Kings.

(my new wool wall...it's supposed to be snowman supplies...minus the snow.)

dragoon /vt./  2.  Our bishop asked the young women to clean the church every Saturday until the end of the year.  I felt put-out, over-worked, and a bit fed-up.  All week, I fussed inside between acknowleding that I was lucky to have a building to clean and worship in, and feeling dragooned into giving up my precious Saturday morning for "more church service."  (Prone to wander, Lord I feel it.  Prone to leave the God I love.  Oh, yes.)  I had a wonderful experience, though, cleaning and scrubbing with "my girls" (who only needed gentle persuasion to show up and help...they are so good.)  I felt lighter and happier as I left that building than I have this whole holiday season.   And wondered, again, why I have to be dragooned into doing anything for the Lord...because, as usual,  any bread I cast upon the water, comes back toasted and buttered.

dragoon /vt./  3.  We went to Amy and Jim's house last night for dinner.  (I know, I know...lucky me.)  This was the first time we've ever really met Jim (he doesn't remember us from the wedding reception...other things on his mind apparently).  He said he was being dragooned into being "demure" for our benefit...but I believe he really is that charming and gracious.  The food was incredible...even cake for dessert.  (I never get to the cake part of hosting...just getting the meal on is a job.)  The conversation and the company were even better than the food (and that is saying something!) and I was again so grateful for the forces that have been at work to bring us back together.   And even better than just back together...together with "our one-and-only's" which somehow made us more complete and whole than I remember.  We had to dragoon the kids into the car when it was time to leave...they begged and begged to stay...and Jim offered the spare room.  I can't wait to have them over this way...we don't have a spare room though, so they'll have to bring sleeping bags. 

Word of the Week: Liberally

Liberally /adv./ 1.  I love to make apple pie and I consider it one of my gifts.  The secret:  three kinds of apples (one of which must be Granny Smith and one of which must be Golden Delicious) liberally piled so that your top crust climbs at least four inches above the top of your pie plate.  A mountain of sweet, apple-ly goodness.  I also eat these pies liberally (another gift)...it is good for breakfast, lunch and dinner, with snacks in-between...I can't let my blood sugar drop too low, you know.

Liberally /adv./ 2.  We found out this month, once again, how very liberally the Lord has blessed us.  We copied Annalisa's idea and made a chain of thankful leaves, adding to it every night.   When I announced the "last night" all the kids begged to continue it through the end of November.  I gave in.

 Some of my favorite "leaves" were:

"I am thankful for food."  (This was found several times in the chain...when I told them to think of something besides food, I got lots of variations like "breakfast" and "mom's cooking."  Apparently I'm not the only one with blood sugar issues.)

"I am thankful for cheese.  P.S.  I love you."  (I'm not sure if the "I love you" was directed at the cheddar or the gouda, but...)

"I am thankful to be a Primary teacher."  (I told him so.)

"I am thankful for the sacrament."  (I am humbled by my own son, every day.)

Liberally /adv./ 3.  I am most thankful for my Savior's constant goodness.  His love and grace liberally offered are always extended "in a generous manner,  openhandedly, munificently,  unstintingly, freely and generously."  He is truly my fount of every blessing. I cannot adequately express the depth of my gratitude, so I offer this song instead.  It says what I cannot.

Word of the Week: Deluge

Okay, this may be dumb, but I thought I would do a variation on Lelly's self-portrait idea and share how the word of the week applies to my life...you can do the same, if you're so inclined.  Kind of a verbal self-portrait.  Here goes:

Deluge /n./ 1.  Yesterday it clouded up (big news here!) and tried its best to rain, but rather than the huge deluge I wanted...it just spit.  My disappointment was palpable and wrenching.

Deluge /vt./ 2.  My to-do list hit ginormous proportions this week and I was deluged by more obligations than I had hands or time or heart to take care of.  I am still waiting for the flood levels to recede.

Deluge /n./ 3.   Despite these things, the deluge of blessings that has filled my life and especially filled my heart is immeasurable.  On Monday night (right in the middle of some serious freaking stressing out) I was helping my kids practice a song they had to sing at a stake meeting on Thursday night.  Things had not gone right all day...and I was feeling a little put-out that heaven was not "clearing my path" to make sure things worked out for E of E on Wednesday.  As we sang the lines,

 "He is always near me, though I do not see him there 

And because he loves me dearly I am in his watchful care"

I had to swallow hard as I remembered how very true they are, and my heart swelled with thanksgiving at His constant grace and kindness towards me.  Thank heaven for these kinds of floods.