Eight Reasons to Celebrate Savannah

Savannah turned eight just after midnight early this morning.  In her honor here are eight things I love about her:

1.  Savannah is a huge Jane Austen fan and even at her young age has learned to appreciate the charms of Mr. Darcy.  Whenever she has a "sick day" we pull out Pride and Prejudice and escape into the Bennett house together.  Once, when she was six, she leaned over to me in church and pointing at one of the priests at the sacrament table, whispered, "Mom, that boy looks just like Mr. Darcy."  I nudge her every time we see him now.

2.  Of all my children, Savannah likes to sleep-in the most.  This is something I dearly love about her.  She is also the one most (emotionally) affected by lack of sleep.  This is something I completely understand about her.

3.  She loves tic-tacs.  Given her choice in the candy isle, she will pick these or Junior Mints every time.  She is crazy about the new Cherry and Passion Fruit tic-tac combo.

4.  Savannah was the first child we had that looked like me.  And, bless her heart, she doesn't seem to mind when people point out that she looks "just like her mother."

5.  I have had to apologize to Savannah more than any of my other children, and maybe even more than all of them combined.  She has a tender heart and has taught me more about being kind than any one else in my life.  I've even had to drive to school on a number of occasions and ask her for forgiveness.  She always graciously grants it. 

6.  She is a fabulous dresser and has excellent, sometimes eclectic, taste in fashion.  She combines things in a way I would never think of and always looks darling.  I consider this a real gift (David buys most of my clothes) and I'm always asking her, "What do you think of this?" when we're out shopping.  I trust her fashion instincts implicitly.

7.  She has a constantly itchy back and loves to have her back scratched every day.  She comes and sits right next to me and doesn't say a word, just kind of bends her neck and I know what she wants.  She loves to be touched and turns to putty if you rub her shoulders, scratch her back, or massage her head.  I have used this technique on many occasions to diffuse a tense situation.

8.  She started a tumbling class this fall (after at least a year of asking) and I have never seen such a smile on her face.  She loves it, counts the days til her next class, and you can see her glowing all the way across the gym.  I'm so glad she wore me down.

After a very difficult pregnancy, a 24-hour labor and delivery, and a few very painful days of a complicated recovery, I insisted that we make her middle name "Grace," since I was sure that I had only survived it all through the grace of God.  Savannah continues to live up her name and reminds me each day about the need for true grace as I muddle my way through motherhood.  I love her dearly.  Happy Birthday, baby girl.

Eleven Years in the Blink of an Eye

My water broke a month early, as I was standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes.  David was at his first day of his summer internship at a hospital across town, and I didn't even know his phone number yet.  When I finally tracked him down and told him what happened he said, "Are you sure?"  Um, yeah.  Pretty sure. 

Caleb was born three hours later.

I can hardly believe that morning was eleven years ago.  I already feel robbed.  I have less years with Caleb here in our home than I've already had, and that hardly seems like enough.

For his birthday, here are eleven things about my boy.

1.  My friends at work warned me several times that babies are ugly when they're first born, so not to be too disappointed.  When they handed him to me I had never seen anything more beautiful.

2.  He was a breech baby and so I had to have a c-section.  I think this may be the only time in his life he wasn't obedient.

3.  He's a voracious reader.

4.  He doesn't really like sandwiches.  Unless it's roast beef.  Or BLT's.

5.  He swims in an outdoor pool, four days a week, year round, no matter the water temperature, and is a brilliant breaststroker. 

6.  He is a very early riser. 

7.  He likes to eat ice cream first thing in the morning when no one can see him sneaking into the freezer.

8.  He loves to play games.  Of any kind.  At any time.  He drools over the word "strategy."

9.  He is very brave.  And started a new school this year just because he wanted to be challenged, despite all the changes and ribbing (from his neighborhood "friends") that would bring.

10.  He has a tender heart, and often checks up on me to make sure I'm okay.

11.  He wants to be a cook or a scientist when he grows up.  I'm trying to pretend this is not really going to happen.

I love you, Caleb.  You are indeed a "beloved,"  "faithful," "son of enthusiasm."

Word of the Week: Pettifog

pettifog  /vt. /   to bicker or quibble over trifles or unimportant matters.  to argue over petty things.  to practice chicanery of any sort.  to raise unnecessary or trivial objections.  pick to pieces.  carp.  cavil.  niggle. nitpick.

pettifog  /vt./  1.  This week was the final week of swimming lessons (for Ethan) and diving lessons (for the other three).  I think we're all happy they're over.  Ethan is a great swimmer, but I put him in lessons anyway this year so that he could improve his strokes.  He did not enjoy his lessons (that's putting it mildly) and spent much of his time in the lessons crying and much of his time outside of his lessons begging not to go.  It was clear that he thought learning to "use his arms" and "kick his legs" was just pettifogging his own natural technique.  Plus there's no chicken fighting in swim lessons.

pettifog  /vt./  2.  One of my favorite things about my children is how much they enjoy being with each other.   Without much pettifogging, they can spend hours and hours playing together.  I snapped these two pictures, the first after a long day of swimming followed by warm baths, and the other on Sunday evening. 

I wish I could freeze my life right here.

pettifog  /vt./  3.  The girls had their dance recital this week, which meant a dress rehearsal as well, which really meant that they got to wear mascara and red lipstick twice in one week.  Their idea of heaven.  This past year has been a difficult one in my girls' dance "education," with a studio move and a change in studio ownership.  Throughout the year I had pettifogged my grievances to David, but all of that faded away as I watched my girls on stage last Friday night.  Beaming.  Dancing beautifully.  And so happy.  Savannah blew kisses as she lept offstage.  I blew them right back.

I snapped this picture after we did their hair...just waiting for the curlers to dry.  They are decorating David's Father's Day gifts...all I had was Christmas wrap, so we turned it wrong-side up and they made their own personalized wrapping paper.  Darling girls. 

pettifog  /vt./  4.  David took Caleb and four of his friends to the Diamondback's game on Saturday night to celebrate Caleb's 11th birthday.  We used to have a rule about parties only every four years [Marie, try not to die], but the kids (and especially David) have worn me down.  They all had a great time (Caleb's review:  "It was wonderful!") and the only thing they had to pettifog about was that the Diamondbacks got beaten badly.  Caleb acknowledged that they did get to see a lot of home runs though.  Too bad the Royals were the ones hitting them.

The ballpark was giving out free hats...the perfect party favor, I think. 

pettifog  /vt./  5.  I started yoga classes this week, and I'm completely hooked.  There is a moment in every class where I just about burst into tears though.  The teacher is so gentle and the invitation to relax and release all the tension I'm carrying around is so sweet, that I just about start bawling.  My favorite part is that there is no pettifogging.  My teacher doesn't even let us pettifog ourselves.  She encourages us to just observe, not judge.  So I accept and observe my tight hamstrings and the poses I can't do and (at least in this one area of my life) I don't judge.  It is unbelievably tender to be so kind to myself, and it feels so good that I am even considering practicing this outside of yoga class.  My husband would be thrilled.

My (Third) Favorite Gemini

There are two Geminis at my house.

But before these two entered my life, there was Amy.

In her birthday post she reminisced about who she was at different ages in her life.  I would like to add just a couple, though I'm not nearly as poetic as she is.

She is

still the 17-year-old who didn't want to go to the dance,  

but graciously conceded when we begged her

(we didn't have the guts to do it without her and couldn't bear the embarrassment alone)

[and p.s. I really wish she had persuaded us!  Apparently Tiff was the only one with any sense,            but of course we always knew that.]

She is

still the 17-year old who always looked entirely too regal to ever be a teenager

(I think this is due to her astoundingly gorgeous cheekbones)

She is

still one of the 17-year-olds who saved me from myself

and from complete and utter loneliness in Coach Parker's AP History Class 

and a thousand other times after that.   

(Her friendship is one of the most tender mercies of my life.)

Happy Birthday, Mems.

Word of the Week: Esuriently

esuriently  /adv. /  having a naked, uncontrolled hunger for.  with the desire to possess more of something than one already has or in normal circumstances might be entitled to.  hungrily, greedily.  graspingly.  avidly.  covetously.  voraciously.  even avariciously or rapaciously.

esuriently  /adv./  1.  For those of you who have been esuriently waiting for this post...the wait is finally over.  We are in full-summer mode around here and somehow the days are gone as soon as they've begun.  My blogging time has been suffering because, not only do I now have three more computer users around here, but I have found I actually need a bit of "alone time" to generate enough coherent thoughts to write something.  And obviously that is in short supply these days.  A happy trade-off though.

This was supposed to be my SPT for yesterday (and the week before)...Something Borrowed and Something Blue...better post it here or it may never get posted.  We "borrow" my parents' gorgeous pool almost every day from May to September.

esuriently  /adv./  2.  Usually by this time of year I am already esuriently wishing for winter, but the weather around here has been absolutely phenomenal.  On the last day of school, always traditionally an absolute scorcher, it was rainy and chilly and I snapped this picture in my car at about 5 in the afternoon.  Incredible.  I've never seen such glorious weather in May.

esuriently  /adv./  3.  I have been esuriently waiting for summer break since last September, but my longing became particularly fervent after Christmas.  The school year is wearing on me in so many ways and I live for the carefree days of summer vacation.  My kids were just as happy to be done and we have been happily doing "whatever we want" for the last few days.  This has included hours and hours in my parents' pool, and we even got David to join us for the day on Monday.

esuriently  /adv./  4.  David has spent most of his career esuriently wishing he was older.  He's always telling me how he is the youngest one on the team, and somehow this translates into how much respect he receives and how much capital his projects get.  This last week he got just a part of that wish, when he turned one year older.  We went to dinner and a movie to celebrate (I, for one, am deliriously glad that he was born) and he got a much-coveted "Blackberry" for his 36th year.  The only downside of this particular gift is that he will soon be completely connected to the hospital 24/7.  I hope that this doesn't turn into a gift that I esuriently wish I hadn't given him. 

esuriently  /adv./  5.  Caleb is a brilliant student and somehow managed to take 10 classes this year, including three new classes in Mandarin, Spanish, and Suzuki.  He reads and studies esuriently, and this has really paid off for him.  He was invited to the end-of-the-year academic awards ceremony where he received the Presidential award for straight A's the entire year, and was also awarded "Student of the Year" by his Suzuki teacher.  He was beaming with pride, but (I secretly think) he was also esuriently hoping that there were even more awards to be won.  I have no doubt that he has his eye on the "Outstanding Student of the Year" for next year.  Maybe even more remarkably, I didn't have to ask him about his homework all year...he is completely self-motivated, self-sufficient, and self-assured.  It is so easy to be his mother.

esuriently  /adv./  6.  I have a couple of videos I wanted to add to this post, but no matter how esuriently I stare at the Google video upload bar, it remains on "Processing."  So it may be a bit.  And my children are wanting lunch, so I will have to add them later.  Blogging is an entirely different endeavor in the summertime.

Word of the Week: Ineffable

ineffable  /adj. /  incapable of being expressed or described in words. incredible. unspeakable.  not to be spoken because of its sacredness, unutterable.  incomprehensibly delightful or joyful.  transcendent.  beyond words.

ineffable  /adj./  1.  When I posted this word for the week, I honestly thought that this was not really "possible."  That no matter what happened, I could always "speak" about it, always be able to describe it, put it into words.  But I find myself full of ineffable feelings and struggling for a way to say it all.  Damn the undeniable, inevitable destiny of the word-of-the-week. 

ineffable  /adj./  2.  This week was Quilt Retreat.  Those five words are about all I can manage and seem to say it all for me.  My kids call it "Quilt Retreatment."  And it's just that.  Treatment, therapy, counselling with scissors and fabric.  This weekend with my aunts and cousins and sisters and mother, fills me in ineffable ways, reminds me that I can do my job, and I can do it with more joy and gladness.  And as silly as it sounds, it is truly almost too sacred for me to describe properly.  It means that much.  Ineffable is just the word.  This magical weekend reminds me most of Shakespeare's line:  "Converting all your sounds of woe, into Hey nonny, nonny."

I will do a proper post on all the details of the retreat when I am a bit more composed about its being over.  I'm afraid today it would be a completely sentimental, maudlin affair. 

ineffable  /adj./  3.  Because I was "off" for the weekend, David took the kids with him to Medical Staff Retreat in Tucson.  The medical staff always stays somewhere really nice and this year was no exception.  They all had a fabulous time swimming and playing when David wasn't in meetings and going to Kids Camp when he was.  One night David had all their "auras" read.  Yes, really.  (I turn my back for a minute and look what happens.)  They called me and reported the conclusions of their aura readings in awestruck voices.  Later I heard Savannah excusing her unsisterly behavior by reminding Olivia of her red and orange aura and the strong will that went along with it.  Concerned about the implications, I tried to explain to them that this was just "for fun" and wasn't an incontrovertable, definitive, lifetime personality statement.  They all looked at me utterly crestfallen, dismayed by my unbelieving heart at their ineffable experience with the aura reader. 

ineffable  /adj./  4.  This week was also my birthday.  My girls were in tears (of concern and dismay) that I didn't get a birthday cake (or pie) or "blow out the candles," but there was birthday fried ice cream which was absolutely delicious.  

I received lots of very nice presents from my sisters, my mom, my husband and my sweet kids, including a necklace that Olivia bought me to replace my wedding ring (her words).  I received a darling apron from my sister-in-law Beckie...don't you think everything I make wearing this will just taste better? 

And I got about the nicest note a girl could want from David's parents.  Made me tear up.  Plus a puzzle for the coming summer and our requisite hibernation.

My heart was also ineffably full and touched by the sweet messages of my very good friends Amy, Kelly and Tiffany, and my sister Rachel who all posted birthday wishes.  David, just reading them last night, said, "That was so fun read and to see that other people love you for the same reasons I love you."  I am so happy to be loved by these wonderful girls.  Then and now.  And cannot express my ineffable joy at how blogging has brought us all back together. 

ineffable  /adj./  5.  It was Tiffany's birthday this past week as well.  I am so grateful for her and her ineffable goodness.  There is no other way to describe her.  She is so good.  So true.  So constant.  So wise.  I remember when we were all young and dreamy having a discussion about the qualities we wanted in a husband.  Tiff said she wanted someone who was kind.  "Kind?"  I said dismissively.  "Any quality in the world and you pick 'kind'?"  And as it turns out, it is the only quality that really matters in a marriage.  She was always that wise.  Happy Birthday, Tiff.

ineffable  /adv./  6.  Inspired by Kelly's post, I have tried a few new hair do's on my girls this past week.  But somehow since the last time I french braided their hair, my girls have grown up.  My girls were all giggles to discover that I needed to stand on our little step stool in order to braid the top of their heads and reminded me that they used to be the ones to have to stand on the stool.  I was reduced to tears at this observation and when they questioned me I could only shrug ineffably.  How could I say that in just one moment they had gone from little to grown, from "at-my-breast" to "out-the-door"?  How could I say just how much I loved them and what beautiful young girls they had suddenly become?  How could I say that my life is passing as if in a dream and how badly I wished we could all be just here, in this moment, forever?

My Little Sister Turns 26!

Today is my sister Rachel's 26th birthday.  Here is a tribute, by the numbers.

1.  She is my best friend.

2.  She calls me nearly every day.  And always asks, "What can I do to help?"

3.  She means it too.  When I was really sick, pregnant with Ethan, she would come over once a week and help me get into the tub and shampoo my hair and shave my legs for me.  The thought of this still makes me weep.

4.  She makes incredible caramel...and then dips delicious things into it (pretzels and apples) and covers them in chocolate.  It's a gift.

5.  She likes to quilt.

6.  But she's allergic to fabric.

7.  This makes getting dressed difficult.

8.  Her morning ritual (to address the allergy problem) would shock you.  It would be enough to make me stay in bed.

9.  She's also allergic to most everything else.  Including peanuts.  Which she just discovered this year!

10.  She is about to have her third baby.

11.  I knew about this at least 6 weeks before she was ready to tell me.

12.  She does amazing permanent make-up.

13.  She would love to get her hands on my eyebrows, but she has graciously never mentioned it.

14.  She is gorgeous.

15.  She came to visit me once at BYU.  She got hit on several times at our ward dance.  Those RM's were shocked when she told them she was twelve!

16.  She is absolutely brilliant at all things Adobe.

17.  Her husband is 8 years older than her.  And he's a red head.

18.  Neither of which I ever would have predicted.

19.  They have one of the strongest marriages I have ever seen.

20.  She likes to win an argument.

21.  She doesn't cry easily.

22.  She plays the violin.

23.  She is fiercely loyal.   I trust her completely.

24.  Despite trials that would have laid me flat, she is the most optimistic person I know.

25.  The night she was born, I told my Dad to come home and wake me up if it was a girl.  (I had four younger brothers already.)  I remember being so tired when he woke me, but feeling like I had to make a show of my delight, I roused myself and started jumping on the bed.  "I have a sister!  I have a sister!"  And then hoping that was enough, I laid back down and went to sleep. 

26.  This morning I jumped on my bed again in your honor.  I'm so glad you're my sister.

Love you, Rara.