Do you have plans for tonight?
It's the second presidential debate.
I know. I'm excited too.
I just can't wait to hear the same questions and the same answers all over again.
This time it's town hall style.
What? Holy cow, that changes everything.
Now I'm totally excited.
Because different people will be asking the same questions that the same two guys will be answering in the same way.
Oh yeah, we're kickin' it town hall style tonight.
But what I want to know is if any of this is really necessary. I mean, I could do all the answers for them at this point. In my sleep.
What is left to suss out?
Do people really not know who they are going to vote for?
I don't believe it. It's not that hard. Do you want more or less of what we've had for four years? See? Easy.
I want to know who all these "undecided" voters are and ask them why they can't get their junk together.
Get your junk together, people, so the rest of us can get on with our lives.
I thought about having a tailgating party for the debate. You know, invite the neighbors, break out the grill, use red and blue paper plates, and napkins that say "Power to the People." Maybe my neighbors will bring beer because I am pretty sure I cannot do another one of these without alcohol.
What? Too far?
Not far enough, CIM says.
If I was at that townhall tonight, and Candy Crowley handed that microphone to me, here are the burning questions I'd ask the candidates:
Why are there no good designers on Project Runway this season?
Are skinny jeans actually an ironic joke that make us all look fat?
When is Starbucks starting up their salted caramel flavor again and what do we have to do to get that to be a year-round thing?
How does Connie Britton look that good all the time?
Is it wrong that some guy has the energy and determination to get himself 24 miles above the earth and I have trouble getting the energy and determination to get myself up 24 stairs to put the clothes away?
Should I join my ward bookclub or is my eventual disappointment inevitable?
Is using eventual and inevitable in the same sentence redundant?
Can I use the shrimp I didn't use last week, but put in the refrigerator to defrost, or is that just asking for trouble?
What do you think we should wear for our upcoming family picture? Keep in mind that the last official family picture we took was four years ago when one of you took office, so this is most likely going to be on the wall for some time. The voters cannot afford a mistake.
Should I curl my hair or wear it straight for the aforementioned family picture? Should I color it the same color as Connie Britton's?
Forget that last one. That's just silly.
Or is it?
Regardless, as Fox News let us know this morning, there are only twenty days until the election, and then David will be all mine again. And for the record, I am really hoping Romney wins tonight. Because when Romney gets lucky, we all get lucky.
What? Too far?
Yes, says RIM.