When Your "Little Black Dress" is Too Little

David had a big fundraising gala for his hospital on Saturday night.   He has been planning this event for a year...I have been "patiently" listening to these plans for even longer.   I have two black dresses for these black tie affairs (which happen more often than you would expect.)   On Monday, Dave said too casually, "So...what are you going to wear on Saturday?"  My radar immediately went up. 


"No reason, just curious."  Yeah, right.

"What are you trying to say?  Just say it."

"April."  Firmly.

"Well.  I have two black dresses...I was just planning on seeing which one I could still fit into and wearing that one."

No response.  Just eyebrows.

"What?!  Don't worry, I'll be gorgeous."

Well.  At least I had no worries, until he started to zip me up on Saturday night.   Uh...

I said, "Is this one of those moments you wish you would have married for looks instead of brains?"

"April."  Very firmly.  And then pointing at the zipper, "How hard do you want me to try?"

We ended up taking two cars to the event.  I had to rethink my wardrobe...have you seen that bluefly commercial where the woman goes to the party naked...it crossed my mind.  (Wow, is it disturbing that I've talked about being naked in two of my four posts?)  I also briefly considered sewing something "real quick,"  or (getting desperate now) tying an ace bandage really tightly around my bodice. 

Finally, I tore my closet apart and ended up in this...


I was the only woman there NOT wearing a black dress.  Seriously.  The woman who does the Arizona society page took a picture of every woman's dress at my table, except mine.  Seriously. 

The one plus...I matched the tablecloths EXACTLY!  Oh, that's not actually a plus!


Despite the fashion faux pas, the night was fantastic.  It was held at the Buttes in Scottsdale.  All the money raised goes to fund cancer programs for patients at Banner Desert Medical Center...here are a few shots of David's hard work.  What is it about seeing your husband at work that makes you IMG_0035.JPGcompletely amazed and a little turned on?


A view of the silent auction...



IMG_0047.JPGThe dessert looked better than it tasted...   

IMG_0045_edited.JPGThe other woman in David's life...his marvelous administrative assistant, Suzanne.  I teased them that this was their "last night together."  Suzanne is leaving to take a position where she can work less hours and, most likely, to preserve what she has left of her sanity.   Poor David will be lost without her.  She was very good to him and once lamented to me,  "He's going to make himself an old man."  I love that she loved him too.  She is truly irreplaceable and I expect to hear him bemoaning this very thing for the next couple of months while he trains a new assistant.  

IMG_0067_edited.JPGFinally, for all you Arizonans out there...I thought you would appreciate this picture of David doing the "Shimmy Shake" with 12 News' Rick DeBruhl.   There's nothing like two middle-aged white men tearing up the dance floor together. 

Next year I've got to be a good wife and go shopping or find a really tight corset...I'm not sure which one sounds less painful...then again maybe I'll just find out what color the tablecloths are and see if I can make another grand entrance.