Week 33.

My youngest child started school this week. It really did feel like the beginning of the end. And while I want my children to be educated and expanded, there is a part of me that wants them to just be mine. I know that this is not the plan, not possible, and not even what I really want for them deep down. But still. So my greatest blessing of the week occurred five times last week, when Ethan climbed down the bus steps, each one as tall as his calves, and ran for me, arms stretched wide. I am so grateful for this moment in my day, so grateful for his running, sweaty hug, and the simple joy of reunion with this little boy. One morning as Ethan was dressing, he said exuberantly, "Mom, I love school!" and then apparently seeing something in my face he quickly said, "Oh, I love you too." I had to turn my head and wait for my heart to start up again. Motherhood is a blood sport.