Well. We made it.
Today marks an arrival of sorts.
The end of the week. Whew. No bra til Monday. I still have to go grocery shopping, but maybe I'll start this a little early. Give 'em all a thrill. I do what I can.
The beginning of fall break. For half of my children anyway. It is the start of a week of sleeping late and Halloween movies day and night and a few leisurely trips to the bookstore. They've earned it. I've earned it. And best of all, it means we're halfway done with half of it.
The end of a long six months (though it's really the last two months that kill you) and the advent of Conference weekend. My tank is empty. My heart is hard. My soul is scorched. I am ready for the dews of heaven. In fact, go ahead and drown me. And my sorrows.
The beginning of winter grass. The bermuda grass is going dormant and it's time to overseed. Which means that the temperature is finally dropping below 70 degrees at night. Which makes it almost bearable. In the mornings. From four until six. Mercy be.
What I've figured out is that I'm really bad at endurance. I am good at passionate beginnings (oh am I!) and fervent endings (especially if it involves crying!), but the long, monotonous, solitary, unglamorous middles are so trying.
David told me I should write down my questions before Conference. To find some answers. He would love me to find some answers. Here's what I came up with.
How can I be happy?
What is the purpose of my life?
You know, little things. Monstrous, engulfing, debilitating questions that have been dogging me for years, really. They just burn and scrape and ache the most every autumn. I am besieged. I am lost.
What should I do?
Can you help?